Once again it's late and I'm wide awake. I got up earlier than usual today and I'm still wide awake at 2:30am. I've had no caffeine since 7:30p so that can't be the culprit. I have to think that my body is on West-coast time (PST, -8GMT) even though I've always lived in the East (-5GMT).

A year or two ago I was at church when Julie, a girl I knew in college, came up to me to say 'hi'. I was astounded that she remembered me especially since I didn't have many memories of her. She was the friend and maybe room mate of Janice, a girl I was hanging out with a lot back then. I never went out with Julie. I guess I thought it would make for an akward situation if I tried to go out with her. I may have thought she was too young for me (an absurd thought, she's at most 4 years younger than me.) My clearest visual memory of her is of seeing her jogging by the dorms on the hill at Liberty. I don't know why I don't remember more. Suddenly, on a Sunday in the new millenium she was greeting me like she was excited to see me. It floored me. I'm not used to getting that kind of attention from anyone other than some of my nephews. I'm definately not used to getting that kind of attention from attractive women. (usually all I get from them is a face full of pepper spray ;) I should have asked her out right then but I've never been good at asking women out. She walked out of the building and I haven't seen her since. In my journal, I wrote her a letter or two and possibly a poem. Maybe some day she'll see them, but they weren't written to be sent. I got her email address from Janice a week or two later. A little while after that emailed Julie. I never received a reply. I ended that first email by telling her to write back to me. I didn't want to sound desperate or whiny so I didn't say "PLEASE write back." I knew it might have sounded too harsh without the 'please' but I wanted to be more assertive.

Tonight I decided to try writing to her again. I don't have her email address in my address book. Her address is in the email from Janice. That email is archived in my email account at Liberty University. Liberty's webmail server is down or turned off. I can't get to her email address so I can't try to get through to her again.

Maybe I'll try later. Maybe it's just not meant to be.

Well, that's just another exciting excerpt from Dana's big book of not dating anyone.