Wednesday, February 16, 2005
Monday, February 14, 2005
Relax.
It's good to see you.
Deep breaths.
here's to friendship
here's to romance
here's to the confusion of the two
The initial barage has ceased
it's time to take the beaches
and then the slow march to berlin
hup, two, three, four
feet tramp the ground
wary of obstactles but a goal in site
survive the day
survive the journey
victory will be ours
why the heck am I using WWII as a metaphor for getting to know you?
It's good to see you.
Deep breaths.
here's to friendship
here's to romance
here's to the confusion of the two
The initial barage has ceased
it's time to take the beaches
and then the slow march to berlin
hup, two, three, four
feet tramp the ground
wary of obstactles but a goal in site
survive the day
survive the journey
victory will be ours
why the heck am I using WWII as a metaphor for getting to know you?
Saturday, February 12, 2005
Right back at ya.
Apparently we're building a book here. Conversations from the Bank. How two people figured out things as gradually as they let themselves. Hmmm. Not a very marketable title in my opinion, but what do I know?
If you don't hear from me sooner, you'll here from me later which by that time it will be now. As for the "getting serious" thing, I wasn't serious about it. The words just rolled out making a clatter larger than their forms would suggest. Some times things are weighted and other times not. This time it was not (nor the time before that).
I'm not usually so open, but let me tell you, I think it feels good. It may simply be the detached nature of the medium. I always seemed to talk more after dark... and after lunch while on a caffeine and sugar trip... but that's not exactly relevant.
Your apple analogy reminded me of something I heard not too long ago on the radio (I think). Apparently the way children remember things is different from the way adults remember things. We actually start off with one system of memory where we take all the information in and process it. Somewhere along the way we learn to categorize things. I think the study used flash cards with pictures of cats and stuff. The children remembered details about the pictures much more clearly than the adults. The adults remembered the cat but they might not get the color right. Once it was categorized in their mind they stopped 'experiencing' it. The people doing the study trained some kids how to use categories in their memory and the kids developed the same traits as the adults. All of that is to say I understand your point and that you are right. Heck, you've been proven right by a clinical study. :) I should maybe pay closer attention to what you have to say.
For now I'm just happy to know we're both "interested" so we can run together foolhardily toward heartbreak or whatever the opposite of that is. So let us not speak of this for a long while. :)
And to whoever else might be reading this: Ummm.. much is contextual and the rest of the context is elsewhere. I think you can figure out some of what is going on but don't feel bad if you don't. For now know that I'm a bit happy and not quite sure how to handle that.
God Bless you all. Good night.
... okay, maybe running foolhardily isn't a good idea. We should stroll slowly enjoying the scenery.
Apparently we're building a book here. Conversations from the Bank. How two people figured out things as gradually as they let themselves. Hmmm. Not a very marketable title in my opinion, but what do I know?
If you don't hear from me sooner, you'll here from me later which by that time it will be now. As for the "getting serious" thing, I wasn't serious about it. The words just rolled out making a clatter larger than their forms would suggest. Some times things are weighted and other times not. This time it was not (nor the time before that).
I'm not usually so open, but let me tell you, I think it feels good. It may simply be the detached nature of the medium. I always seemed to talk more after dark... and after lunch while on a caffeine and sugar trip... but that's not exactly relevant.
Your apple analogy reminded me of something I heard not too long ago on the radio (I think). Apparently the way children remember things is different from the way adults remember things. We actually start off with one system of memory where we take all the information in and process it. Somewhere along the way we learn to categorize things. I think the study used flash cards with pictures of cats and stuff. The children remembered details about the pictures much more clearly than the adults. The adults remembered the cat but they might not get the color right. Once it was categorized in their mind they stopped 'experiencing' it. The people doing the study trained some kids how to use categories in their memory and the kids developed the same traits as the adults. All of that is to say I understand your point and that you are right. Heck, you've been proven right by a clinical study. :) I should maybe pay closer attention to what you have to say.
For now I'm just happy to know we're both "interested" so we can run together foolhardily toward heartbreak or whatever the opposite of that is. So let us not speak of this for a long while. :)
And to whoever else might be reading this: Ummm.. much is contextual and the rest of the context is elsewhere. I think you can figure out some of what is going on but don't feel bad if you don't. For now know that I'm a bit happy and not quite sure how to handle that.
God Bless you all. Good night.
... okay, maybe running foolhardily isn't a good idea. We should stroll slowly enjoying the scenery.
I hate defining things sometimes. The fear is that by defining it, you destroy it. Some things, some moments, can't bear the weight of their own existence. What was once mysterious and alive becomes a statue - a mere hunk of stone. However, I just want to be clear for the moment. I like you. I'm interested. I just didn't want you to think it was something less. Ummm... You should also not think that it's something more. Really, it's all the same at this point just different flavors. I'm enjoying our chats and slowly getting to know you. You seem to have a rich life full of beautiful memories, good friends, hope for the future and a good walk with the Lord. I don't know what I can add to the mix. You also have the eyes to enjoy it and the words to express it. I'm very happy to have made your acquaintance. I only hope you find my neuroticisms cute.
:)
:)
Thursday, February 10, 2005
I was typing something in here earlier today when the power went out at work. It's was a fairly major problem so they shut the place down. Now I'm at home.
I've been in a strange frame of mind the last few days. It's all your fault. Well, no it isn't. It is related though. I'm standing at the border of an undiscovered country. I don't know if it's time to enter. My thoughts are that it's far too soon. I am enjoying the view. Will this river be forded? I don't know. I guess it's simply time to play on its banks.
[sure, it's vague. I'm leaving the interpretation up toyou, the reader. I think you'll discern the context. I don't know if you'll get the Star Trek reference. You get points if you do. You lose points, however, if you get too many Star Trek references. I'm sorry that's just the way it works.]
What I've been thinking about today is emotional intimacy among strangers. One of the reasons we are not to have sex outside of marriage is because it creates an intimacy between the people that can't be supported or sustained and that tears us apart when the relationship dies. The same thing can happen between people using only words and bared hearts. When the only connect you have is through words on the screen, it's easy to become very open about yourselves. This fosters a sense of intimacy that may be premature and unsustainable. This could be just as dangerous and hurtful as joining together in other ways. This thought isn't new to me. A girl I used to email explained it to me. It does have merit and is not something to be overlooked. I'm not sure where the boundaries are though. What makes one personal disclosure more [insert whatever word fits here] than another personal disclosure. How do you slow this intellectual/emotional merging without killing it altogether. I felt shut out by the girl who told me this. I felt it because I was. I did want to get to know her better. I did want to be more of a friend. Oh well, we have limits as humans. I pray that God helps me to use His love because I don't think I have much of my own to use. That's another subject though. :)
You probably think I'm thinking too much but it's easy to get emotionally involved with someone you don't know, especially from a distance. I think that the less you know about someone the more you'll use your imagination and your desires to fill in the blanks. The person you're talking to may be more of your own construction than the person on the other side of the screen. As you get to know the real person on the other end your picture of them fades into the real thing. What if you won't like what you see? What if you prefer the fantasy to reality? What if you may that the person on the other end is greater and more beautiful than anything that your own stupid, limited imagination could ever invent? ;)
I've been in a strange frame of mind the last few days. It's all your fault. Well, no it isn't. It is related though. I'm standing at the border of an undiscovered country. I don't know if it's time to enter. My thoughts are that it's far too soon. I am enjoying the view. Will this river be forded? I don't know. I guess it's simply time to play on its banks.
[sure, it's vague. I'm leaving the interpretation up toyou, the reader. I think you'll discern the context. I don't know if you'll get the Star Trek reference. You get points if you do. You lose points, however, if you get too many Star Trek references. I'm sorry that's just the way it works.]
What I've been thinking about today is emotional intimacy among strangers. One of the reasons we are not to have sex outside of marriage is because it creates an intimacy between the people that can't be supported or sustained and that tears us apart when the relationship dies. The same thing can happen between people using only words and bared hearts. When the only connect you have is through words on the screen, it's easy to become very open about yourselves. This fosters a sense of intimacy that may be premature and unsustainable. This could be just as dangerous and hurtful as joining together in other ways. This thought isn't new to me. A girl I used to email explained it to me. It does have merit and is not something to be overlooked. I'm not sure where the boundaries are though. What makes one personal disclosure more [insert whatever word fits here] than another personal disclosure. How do you slow this intellectual/emotional merging without killing it altogether. I felt shut out by the girl who told me this. I felt it because I was. I did want to get to know her better. I did want to be more of a friend. Oh well, we have limits as humans. I pray that God helps me to use His love because I don't think I have much of my own to use. That's another subject though. :)
You probably think I'm thinking too much but it's easy to get emotionally involved with someone you don't know, especially from a distance. I think that the less you know about someone the more you'll use your imagination and your desires to fill in the blanks. The person you're talking to may be more of your own construction than the person on the other side of the screen. As you get to know the real person on the other end your picture of them fades into the real thing. What if you won't like what you see? What if you prefer the fantasy to reality? What if you may that the person on the other end is greater and more beautiful than anything that your own stupid, limited imagination could ever invent? ;)
Monday, February 07, 2005
I'm tired of being the friend. I've always been the friend. I've gotten the "Your a good friend, I just don't think of you in that way" speech a few too many times. I'd like to just skip the friendship step. Of course, that's unrealistic and foolhardy to some extent. While I might not be adept at moving from friendship to romance (I haven't tried going the other way yet) I recognize the need of friendship in a relationship. It's a key component. Companionship is more important than warm and fuzzy feelings. It lasts longer. It's a much sturdier base. It's just plain necessary. I guess I'm looking for a best friend. Someone who moves to the same town I move to. Someone to share life with. Sometimes I wonder what the point of building a friendship is if it isn't going to be permanent. I guess it's a dress rehearsal. Actually, it's more like an essential part of life, like food and shelter. I wish the Eagles had won but I wept no tears for the defeat.
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