Something I said last Thursday when we were talking about forgiving yourself...
When you're focusing on your guilt you aren't focusing on Christ.
then I stared thinking about how much Christian contemporary music isn't focused on Christ. I don't think that we need to count the times Jesus is mentioned in songs or anything but I wonder if we're missing something. Oh well, I guess there is a time and a place...
Tuesday, March 15, 2005
"email me if you want though...I'd like to hear about what you'll be doing "
That just seems strange to me. It's not a bad thing, just part of the undiscovered country. It's not that I have anything wonderfully exciting planned. What's coming up is slightly out of the routine but still, nothing out of the ordinary. It's the desire to hear the ordinary that has me pondering. I don't come from a home where there was a lot of communication in general. I guess we figured that the ordinary things didn't need to be said. Or maybe I just wasn't involved in those conversations because I was the child and really wouldn't have been interested in grown up conversations anyway. It's the "how was your day" conversations that I'm getting used to. I don't think I've ever had to account for a day's activities and my personal feelings towards them ever before. At the very least I haven't had to in the past several years. I tend to devalue the mundane and think of it as uninteresting because, well I go through it every day. Relaying the day's activities has to be an important part of sharing one's life with someone. It's an important part of getting to know each other. I just hope I don't tire of it and get annoyed with having to talk about and listen about minutiae. So far I guess I haven't :)
Monday (it's nearly 1am so it's Tuesday now) was a weird/quiet day at work. We had an interview in the studio this morning to update the university's recruiting video. I wasn't involved in that. The boss in the dept next door to us is leaving. He's been there for as long as I remember. I do have stuff I could be working on there but I just have no energy/desire to do it. Sometimes when working you just get in the zone and you can get a lot done in a short amount of time or at least have total focus on what you're doing. I'm very far out of the zone right now. The LU lacrosse team was in fairly bad car accident. Apparently both vans were involved as well as a big truck. No one is in critical condition but people have broken bones and stuff. That'd pretty well cripple a team's season. Oh, I fixed my keychain flashlight kind of.... meh, that's about all the minutiae I'll muster at the moment.
That just seems strange to me. It's not a bad thing, just part of the undiscovered country. It's not that I have anything wonderfully exciting planned. What's coming up is slightly out of the routine but still, nothing out of the ordinary. It's the desire to hear the ordinary that has me pondering. I don't come from a home where there was a lot of communication in general. I guess we figured that the ordinary things didn't need to be said. Or maybe I just wasn't involved in those conversations because I was the child and really wouldn't have been interested in grown up conversations anyway. It's the "how was your day" conversations that I'm getting used to. I don't think I've ever had to account for a day's activities and my personal feelings towards them ever before. At the very least I haven't had to in the past several years. I tend to devalue the mundane and think of it as uninteresting because, well I go through it every day. Relaying the day's activities has to be an important part of sharing one's life with someone. It's an important part of getting to know each other. I just hope I don't tire of it and get annoyed with having to talk about and listen about minutiae. So far I guess I haven't :)
Monday (it's nearly 1am so it's Tuesday now) was a weird/quiet day at work. We had an interview in the studio this morning to update the university's recruiting video. I wasn't involved in that. The boss in the dept next door to us is leaving. He's been there for as long as I remember. I do have stuff I could be working on there but I just have no energy/desire to do it. Sometimes when working you just get in the zone and you can get a lot done in a short amount of time or at least have total focus on what you're doing. I'm very far out of the zone right now. The LU lacrosse team was in fairly bad car accident. Apparently both vans were involved as well as a big truck. No one is in critical condition but people have broken bones and stuff. That'd pretty well cripple a team's season. Oh, I fixed my keychain flashlight kind of.... meh, that's about all the minutiae I'll muster at the moment.
Sunday, March 13, 2005
Saturday, March 12, 2005
In case you were wondering...
Today (Friday) I went to work a bit later than usual. I put that video clip I had to convert Thursday onto a DVD and delivered it to where it needed to go.
We then went to lunch. We had to wait for a couple of people before we started and they were late. After lunch Tim, Ena and I donated blood at the blood donating place. On the way back from that we stopped by the Post Office so Ena could mail something and I bought a book of stamps. Then I stopped by the bank and got some cash so I could pay my renter's insurance for the year. I didn't want to use my temp checks from my new checking account and it was due the 13th. We returned to work around 3pm and I walked over to the arena for my 4 o'clock crew call (at least I hope that was the crew call time. The email I have may have been wrong). I was there until 10:30 working two basketball games. I did get out to go to the bathroom between games. Before the first one I went back to the department I work in to borrow a mouse because the one they had in the truck didn't work right. (maybe I'll tell you about that if you ask me and I still remember the situation). I came home, watched TV and started copying numbers out of my phone into my computer. Well, I could tell you more but it's already past time for me to be sleeping.
good night.
Today (Friday) I went to work a bit later than usual. I put that video clip I had to convert Thursday onto a DVD and delivered it to where it needed to go.
We then went to lunch. We had to wait for a couple of people before we started and they were late. After lunch Tim, Ena and I donated blood at the blood donating place. On the way back from that we stopped by the Post Office so Ena could mail something and I bought a book of stamps. Then I stopped by the bank and got some cash so I could pay my renter's insurance for the year. I didn't want to use my temp checks from my new checking account and it was due the 13th. We returned to work around 3pm and I walked over to the arena for my 4 o'clock crew call (at least I hope that was the crew call time. The email I have may have been wrong). I was there until 10:30 working two basketball games. I did get out to go to the bathroom between games. Before the first one I went back to the department I work in to borrow a mouse because the one they had in the truck didn't work right. (maybe I'll tell you about that if you ask me and I still remember the situation). I came home, watched TV and started copying numbers out of my phone into my computer. Well, I could tell you more but it's already past time for me to be sleeping.
good night.
Friday, March 11, 2005
My phone didn't charge last night. Usually I connect the phone to the charger every night. Once in a while I get an "unable to charge" message. Sometimes disconnecting and reconnecting takes care of it. Some times flipping the way the charger is plugged in fixes it. Well, I unplugged it and then plugged it back in before taking my shower but when I came back it still said "unable to charge." So my phone is dead today. I can charge it in the car but the commute isn't long enough to give a full charge.
I had a dream last night. I was looking at a picture of me as a child. I looked a bit goofy in it. Then the photo shifted into a photo or maybe a drawing that was the same in essence, but different in appearance. In this picture I was facing the side, my head was all but shaved and I had written something in block letters (presumably because it's hard to write neatly on the side of your own head). I don't remember what I had written. Then the picture was in the black book (sketchpad/journal) with some other writing underneath it. The really interesting thing was that there was a comment written underneath that by someone else. It was signed Rxxxxxx Rxx (but the actual name without the x's). What this meant was that RR and I had actually met at some point in the past and I had shown her the black book. Then I was thinking about how we could've met. The best thing I came up with was an A.C.E. International Convention. This is an event where A.C.E. Christian schools gather together and compete for medals in things like music, art, drama, sports and some other stuff. Also, it's just a good time to hang out and meet people from all over the world. Of course, RR didn't go to one of those schools except for one year and most likely never went to any of the competitions since she's rarely been away from the Pacific Northwest. Also, I didn't start the black book until 2000 or maybe 1999 and the last competition I went to was in 1992. So there is no way we could've met. But that's the nature of dreams, transient and confused. Still it allows one a real sense of wonder and "what if." What if we had met before but didn't catch the significance then. Well, it would've been more than a meeting, but a bit of sharing. Actually now that I think of it I did have the black book or the green book at the Cornerstone festival and let some strangers look at it there. I guess I could've explored that possibility in the dream. Still, that wouldn't have happened because RR has never been there and also the picture I saw in the book isn't in there anyway. Just a dream. A dream about having met a girl I've never met.
I had a dream last night. I was looking at a picture of me as a child. I looked a bit goofy in it. Then the photo shifted into a photo or maybe a drawing that was the same in essence, but different in appearance. In this picture I was facing the side, my head was all but shaved and I had written something in block letters (presumably because it's hard to write neatly on the side of your own head). I don't remember what I had written. Then the picture was in the black book (sketchpad/journal) with some other writing underneath it. The really interesting thing was that there was a comment written underneath that by someone else. It was signed Rxxxxxx Rxx (but the actual name without the x's). What this meant was that RR and I had actually met at some point in the past and I had shown her the black book. Then I was thinking about how we could've met. The best thing I came up with was an A.C.E. International Convention. This is an event where A.C.E. Christian schools gather together and compete for medals in things like music, art, drama, sports and some other stuff. Also, it's just a good time to hang out and meet people from all over the world. Of course, RR didn't go to one of those schools except for one year and most likely never went to any of the competitions since she's rarely been away from the Pacific Northwest. Also, I didn't start the black book until 2000 or maybe 1999 and the last competition I went to was in 1992. So there is no way we could've met. But that's the nature of dreams, transient and confused. Still it allows one a real sense of wonder and "what if." What if we had met before but didn't catch the significance then. Well, it would've been more than a meeting, but a bit of sharing. Actually now that I think of it I did have the black book or the green book at the Cornerstone festival and let some strangers look at it there. I guess I could've explored that possibility in the dream. Still, that wouldn't have happened because RR has never been there and also the picture I saw in the book isn't in there anyway. Just a dream. A dream about having met a girl I've never met.
Thursday, March 10, 2005
Wednesday, March 09, 2005
I decided to skip convo and go into work late. I normally wouldn't do that except that it's already 9:30a and I'm expecting my new computer to show up on my doorstep by 10:30a. I get about 7 hours of sleep I just get up later than I should.
I had a really cool dream last night with relatively well developed characters. Okay they weren't too deep but hey, it's a dream not a play.
I don't remember the whole thing, of course, and trying to squeeze it into words as it rapidly fades from memory doesn't help things. It was more like a few dreams which may or may not have bled into each other. The main two things I remember aren't related at all. At some point it was a fantasy thing with a prince and a princess apparently living in exile in a tropical place. I guess they were married because she was watching him playing with his sons and thinking how much they took after him. She also felt a bit distant from him, like he wasn't quite the person she had once perceived him to be. While he was playing war/sword fighting with their 3 or 4 boys she was harvesting bananas (which for some reason in my dream came in what looked like coconuts and for some reason he was wearing armor made out of bananas draped over him like feathers on birds... and they were black at one point but I think they were yellow at a different point). Then there was a scene with a dragon in a cave which was apparently part of the same cavern they lived in. The prince somehow loosed the tongue of the dragon so the dragon could speak. It was kind of a snotty maybe sinister character with a British accent and he was rather large and slender. He could tell that the princess was not a descendent of royalty. Apparently she was adopted into the family somehow so she was a princess, but not genetically. The dragon made some snide remarks about that and then something about her being a woman and inferring that she was inferior because of that. When that happened she basically grabbed him by the throat to hurt him to demonstrate that she wasn't as weak as he supposed (at some point I think I pictured the dragon as a large screen rear projection screen TV. I was behind her and the back of the TV was toward us and she had hold of the right side... but then it went back to being the dragon).
Then the dream shifted to more a more domestic scene. I don't remember much from it other than there was a house/family I was staying with. I wonder if the house is something from distant memories. It was nothing unusual but not one I've been in recently. Of course, I could've made the whole thing up. About the only thing I remember from this part is coming home and bringing an apple pie in that I bought at a grocery store. I looked around and saw that there was already pie there and so my contribution was redundant. The man of the house was at that point an older guy from church [in the real world]. I think I had a computer in my room in that house and I vaguely remember doing some chat room stuff.
Well, my computer and ipod mini just came in. It was a good thing I decided to stay. Since these things were shipped from the factory in China I had to sign for them. My room mate gets a lot of stuff shipped here so it's set up so we don't normally have to sign for packages. Since this was an international order I did have to sign.
Cheers.
I had a really cool dream last night with relatively well developed characters. Okay they weren't too deep but hey, it's a dream not a play.
I don't remember the whole thing, of course, and trying to squeeze it into words as it rapidly fades from memory doesn't help things. It was more like a few dreams which may or may not have bled into each other. The main two things I remember aren't related at all. At some point it was a fantasy thing with a prince and a princess apparently living in exile in a tropical place. I guess they were married because she was watching him playing with his sons and thinking how much they took after him. She also felt a bit distant from him, like he wasn't quite the person she had once perceived him to be. While he was playing war/sword fighting with their 3 or 4 boys she was harvesting bananas (which for some reason in my dream came in what looked like coconuts and for some reason he was wearing armor made out of bananas draped over him like feathers on birds... and they were black at one point but I think they were yellow at a different point). Then there was a scene with a dragon in a cave which was apparently part of the same cavern they lived in. The prince somehow loosed the tongue of the dragon so the dragon could speak. It was kind of a snotty maybe sinister character with a British accent and he was rather large and slender. He could tell that the princess was not a descendent of royalty. Apparently she was adopted into the family somehow so she was a princess, but not genetically. The dragon made some snide remarks about that and then something about her being a woman and inferring that she was inferior because of that. When that happened she basically grabbed him by the throat to hurt him to demonstrate that she wasn't as weak as he supposed (at some point I think I pictured the dragon as a large screen rear projection screen TV. I was behind her and the back of the TV was toward us and she had hold of the right side... but then it went back to being the dragon).
Then the dream shifted to more a more domestic scene. I don't remember much from it other than there was a house/family I was staying with. I wonder if the house is something from distant memories. It was nothing unusual but not one I've been in recently. Of course, I could've made the whole thing up. About the only thing I remember from this part is coming home and bringing an apple pie in that I bought at a grocery store. I looked around and saw that there was already pie there and so my contribution was redundant. The man of the house was at that point an older guy from church [in the real world]. I think I had a computer in my room in that house and I vaguely remember doing some chat room stuff.
Well, my computer and ipod mini just came in. It was a good thing I decided to stay. Since these things were shipped from the factory in China I had to sign for them. My room mate gets a lot of stuff shipped here so it's set up so we don't normally have to sign for packages. Since this was an international order I did have to sign.
Cheers.
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