My mother used to tell a joke. "What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a word? Biting into an apple and finding half a worm."

Yeah, tonight I found out how untasty that can be.

Blech.

Intentions...

I intended you order fruit for you but my zip code prevented me from setting up an account with safeway. I didn't want to use your name and address in setting up an account because that seemed just plain wrong. Maybe I could've used my name and your address or a fake address. I even called the toll free number to see if I could order by phone, but they don't do that. oh well. It was then that I suggested it to you. You mentioned albertsons and I then tried them. Their website wasn't working right. It was giving me problems. Then you found some frozen fruit and I gave up.

I did have a plan to get you animal slippers for your birthday. When I went to place the order I noticed they were for little children. I'd probably get the size wrong anyway.

I'm still trying to surprise you but it's getting harder. I know you don't need/want more stuff... It's the thought that counts right?

I hope you're doing well and that sleep deprivation isn't effecting your driving safety :D

Intentions...

I intended you order fruit for you but my zip code prevented me from setting up an account with safeway. I didn't want to use your name and address in setting up an account because that seemed just plain wrong. Maybe I could've used my name and your address or a fake address. I even called the toll free number to see if I could order by phone, but they don't do that. oh well. It was then that I suggested it to you. You mentioned albertsons and I then tried them. Their website wasn't working right. It was giving me problems. Then you found some frozen fruit and I gave up.

I did have a plan to get you animal slippers for your birthday. When I went to place the order I noticed they were for little children. I'd probably get the size wrong anyway.

I'm still trying to surprize you but it's getting harder. I know you don't need/want more stuff... It's the thought that counts right?

I hope you're doing well and that sleep deprivation isn't effecting your driving safety :D

The sky was an odd mix this morning. To my left the whole sky seemed to be covered with a thin blanket of cloud cover with lower more defined clouds floating below. The sun was represented by a large hazy bright spot. It was a little surreal in that it looked like a normal partially cloudy sky but gray instead of blue. It was a duotone image. Over on the right, which I couldn't see as well as I sat in the driver's seat of the car, the sky was blue. It was more interesting on the cloudy side. I wish I had a decent camera and paused to take a snapshot. You'll just have to imagine it for yourself.

[sometimes it's a metaphor... sometimes it's a weather report.]

The clouds have most departed today. See, I was right.

I spent part of the morning singing "whatsamatter blue bird?" a song I was making up as I sang it so I can't repeat it now. :)

The sky is full of clouds but there are large gaps between them and the sunshine pours through. You can see shadows of clouds on the blue ridge mountains and overall it's a beautiful scene except it's a bit hazy. It's perhaps the best combination for the sky. If it's all clouds then it's dark and depressing. If it's all blue with no clouds at all then it's boring and doesn't make for good photographs. Then of course there's that old country song that goes "where the sun always shines, there's a desert below." ultimately clouds, at least here in Virginia, are travelers. They pass by. Sometimes they move slowly and sometimes quickly.

On a more personal note, I may be pining a bit for a month or two ago. Has familiarity bred contempt? Well, no. Not contempt. Things are different now but that's not a bad thing. Things have to change. It's part of the growing process. Things are a little weird right now. I know how I hope they turn out. Ultimately, however, it's all in God's hands so there's not much point in worrying about it.

Presence...

You're 2900 miles away.
I can't see you.
I can't hear you.
The only thing connecting us is an inactive IM window and your name in my buddy list.
Still, I feel like you're here with me and I'm there with you.
It's as if we were in the same place, simply not talking... maybe as if in separate rooms... maybe even silently in different parts of the same room out of each other's view.

It's sad to say but I think I'm ebbing. Perhaps, I'm burning out.
Maybe 41.6 hours in <20 days is too much time to spend on the phone :D.

Still, I am looking forward to meeting. In three weeks we'll be together for real for the first time. Three weeks is enough for an ebb to reverse itself right? Even if not, things can still work out well. The last 2.5 months have been very good and I think there's more than just feelings involved in that. Most of the things that have me interested are still factors.

It's kind of funny how fickle feelings can be. It's kind of annoying as well.

I hope you have a great and productive day and that this little update about a probably temporary state doesn't darken your mood.

I went to sleep soon after talking with little miss angsty grrl [hehe]. I didn't sleep straight through. I know I woke up a few times this morning. One of those times I woke up from a dream I thought would be cool to remember but I knew I wouldn't remember it because I didn't want to write it down. If I tried writing it I probably wouldn't have been able to go back to sleep and I needed to catch up. Eventually I did wake up fully. I was definitely slacking this morning and didn't get up until I was nearly fully awake. I didn't shave. I half forgot/half decided not to bother, not necessarily in that order. Meh, I have no one to impress here. I did manage to clip my fingernails this morning. Dr. Falwell spoke in Convocation today. It was his first sermon (I think) since getting out of the hospital this last time. I knew he had stopped breathing that time but I didn't know his heart had stopped as well. I guess it's a miracle that he's still with us. His message was mainly about finding God's will for your life... finding your destiny. He talked about each one of us is unique. How we all have different physical and spiritual DNA and a place in God's plan. He finished the message by going over the general principles, God's general plan for all of us.

After convo we went to lunch at the Olive Garden. I just had the soup salad and breadsticks lunch. I just don't like to spend a lot on lunch. It was good and filling though.

The weather outside is very nice. I wish I didn't have to be in here now. Actually, I think I'll leave. 4:33 is close enough to 5:00 isn't it? ^_^.

My mood...
is less than wonderful tonight. Perhaps it is due to a lack of rest, a lack of exercise, a lack of proper nutrition. Tonight is one of those nights in which I question my core beliefs. This time I can't blame it on the rain or the gloom. Perhaps, the physical is disrupting the spirit. Oh well. I'll call this mood melancholly and bear it for now.