I'm getting a motorcycle unless I change my mind at the last minute. The guy is supposed to bring it up tomorrow. (Friday the 20th of August, 2004) The check from my room mate's company came in just in time :)

Chicks dig bikes right? I mean it can't hurt can it? I guess if I wrecked in front of them it wouldn't help their opinion of me. If I wrecked and badly damaged my body to the point of disfigurement, surely that wouldn't help the old love life. Unless, of course, I met a nurse or physical therapist who'd look past the crumpled remains of a man's body and see his pure [well, slightly tarnished] soul and his courageous recovery and fall in love with me for my inner strength. Of course, I'm probably too much of a quitter for that. And I'm not exactly sure how much inner strength I actually have. Oh well, I didn't even think about chicks digging bikes except for the thought of having a girl ride with me. How else can I get a prolonged hug from a woman like that?

Oh bother.
Last week when I bled, I watched the needle go in. It wasn't exactly traumatic. It felt the same, I just saw the instrument of pain. Maybe it was all the caffeine, maybe it was the accelerated heart rate from being out of shape but I bled well that day.

Is it possible to be too comfortable with someone? I reminded Kara of someone she knew well so much so that she acted around me how she would around him. The problem was that it was preceded by some faux flirting which wasn't entirely faux on my part. She wanted to hang out. I wanted to go on a date. I did what I could to clue her in on the nature of the outing even though I suspected that she wasn't on the same page. K:"should we invite D?" Me:"No, I want to take you out for a nice dinner" - I paid the bill though she volunteered to pay her part. That made me think that she either didn't know it was a date and therefore expected to pay or that she didn't know it was a date and offered to pay as a test to see if it really was. The former was the case. At any rate when we were just hanging out, playing pool and Battleship, we were having a very comfortable, good time. As a date it was going very well. We were getting along great. The problem was that she was still imagining her old friend when she saw the new one so the normal awkwardness simply wasn't there. I interpreted it as a great connection. She saw it as business as usual. Later that night more clues to her perception surfaced so I wasn't taken by surprise when I found out she wasn't thinking dating when I was. She hid from me for a while after that misunderstanding. Her actions in the aftermath make me think that she probably isn't the one for me. When she's around sometimes I think about it working out between us but I don't know. To some extent I don't care. There are more fish in the sea. I still don't know what bait to use so I'm still screwed.