Wow, so much to consider. So far I'm not feeling overwhelmed or over stressed. A little apathy can go a long way sometimes. I do wish the paths were clearly marked.

As to her question of what most makes me nervous about getting married... Maybe part of it is just the reality of the situation sinking in. I'm getting married. :D it still sounds weird. Ahh but it makes so much sense when we're together. This is probably the best decision I've ever made.

i feel like a jerk

Please don't think you have to change in order to be good enough for me... You're already too good for me right now. I don't deserve someone as wonderful as you are, though I wouldn't settle for anything less.

ugh

What's going on? No news then suddenly a request to request the withdrawal of a restraining order. Hurt piled on hurt. I didn't even know about it. The family grapevine isn't very efficient. What happened? I'd like to hear it from the source, but I don't want to disturb him... and I don't know how to reach him. I knew things hadn't been going well but I have no knowledge of what triggered this. I guess I'll go to mom... if she knows. I presume she does... unless she's being shielded. So many thoughts that don't make it through the keyboard. So much hurt in the world. ugh.

God, I hope things work out. Bring humility, repentance and forgiveness where it's needed. I have a bad feeling about this.

Hi There!

bummed about soup

Tim used the microwave at work today and found some soup that I heated on Wednesday. I don't remember not eating lunch that day. Perhaps the idea of eating was enough to satisfy me that day. I feel a little bit bad for having wasted the food but I wasn't about to eat it after it had been exposed to air and room temperature for two days.

brief update.

Becca and I met with our pastor (or elder who happens to be the primary teacher as he may prefer to be called) to initiate the marriage mentorship/counseling. I have the number to a lady I need to contact as part of the next step. I called the number and left a message. Hopefully we'll hear from her soon so we can get the process rolling. Due to Becca's school plans and my possible projected work loads we're currently thinking June would be the best time for us to get married. We'll probably do a tiny ceremony (just us and the pastor) and then a reception/party with everyone else... not necessarily on the same day. We may do two or three parties. I'm not sure where all the funds are coming from... especially if we buy a house. I know. I know. Some people never buy a house, but around here I could actually buy a place and spend less on a mortgage payment than on rent. Of course, there are other costs, but the point is that it's affordable here. Renting feels like you're just throwing money away... of course, there's no rule that says a house won't sap all of your resources and leave you broke in the end.

The company that owes me money supposedly mailed some checks to me. I figure if they mailed them Monday, like they said they would, I should've gotten them by Wednesday or Thursday at the latest. They still hadn't arrived as of Friday's mail so I emailed them again. They assured me they had been sent and that I should be getting them by Saturday... we'll see.

Becca and I are going to Va Beach for the day on Saturday. We may spend the night at a friends house... or just come back the same day. We'll play that by ear.

Wedding plans are oh so much fun. :)

I'm sure you didn't mean it that way

This was all on one line in the farewell to the dating site Becca and I met on.

"am now engaged to be married to a man that I love and respect. For now,"

haha. it just doesn't look good when pulled out of context, eh?

Love ya, babe. :)

Yippee Yikes

Wow. I'm engaged. I popped THE Question on Saturday, January 14th of 2006 and the answer was yes.

Woohoo!!! (gulp)

:D

Freelance woes

Gee, it'd sure be nice if a certain company that owed me $3400 would pay me... at least something. It's been another whole week since they were going to "see how much we can get out to you this week." Obviously the answer was NONE!

This is ridiculous. I want to use this money to pay off my car loan which would put me in better position to buy a house.

argh.

Big decision

The decision seems easy and obvious. A simple question with lifetime consequences. A decision that could change the course of the world, but probably won't. Mostly I'm concerned with how it'll change our lives here and now. I worry that I'm taking it too lightly, that this is something that should require soul searching. Instead, the thought of marrying her isn't profound. There's a fatalistic feeling to it... like it's unavoidable. It's just what happens when you're in a relationship like this. Eventually, you get married. The process is probably accelerated by the commitment we've made to not have sex until we're married. Also, we're not getting any younger and we're both (or at least I am) tired of being single. Getting married is what grown-ups do, right?
So here I am pondering marriage like it's an inescapable end to this dating relationship. Does that bother me? No. Does it worry me? Not really. I think it'd be very difficult to find someone else that'd be better for me. Maybe just the fact that she's willing and wanting to marry me is reason enough to marry her. Of course, there's more to it than that. ;)

pt

I suppose I'm at a turning point.
[n/c]